2 Things You May Have Wondered...

For those of you wondering the details on my soon to be family, please let me explain. My wonderful, soon to be hubby has three kids. Knute is 14, Rohr is 13, and Emmalynn is 10. They have been with their mom for the past year and a half in South Dakota. (Their step-dad is in the military.) They spent part of the summer here and we were able to get to know each other and go on some fun trips. They are here for the month of April for vacation and of course our wedding! They have an AMAZING opportunity to go to Japan as their step-dad received orders to station there. They will be leaving for Japan in May and we’ll see how the summer treats them there! We are so excited for them to have this opportunity but we are also sad to not have them around for the summer.

While I’m at it let me explain my soon to be last name. It is Ljungberg; pronounced Youngberg. Sounds normal, but looks weird. Troy’s family is Norwegian and I am so excited to be a part of it. (I have a magnet on my fridge from his mom that says, “Pray for me, I’m married to a Norwegian.” Lol) For the rest of my life when I tell people my last name I will have to explain how it is spelled. I have watched Troy do this hundreds of times already. It is a small price to pay for love I suppose. ;)

Our trip to Mount Rushmore this past summer

If you must know I cannot wait to have this last name. You cannot imagine the confusion of not knowing what your name is. Some places I’m Howard, some I’m Miller, and at the gym and most recently car insurance I’m Ljungberg. I’m caught off guard when anyone asks me my name, and I have to think about where I am. It’s an interesting dilemma and I’m not gonna lie, it is pretty funny sometimes. I went to sign at the closing of my house last week and they had my middle initial recorded as N instead of M. The lady at the title company told me to just sign with an N since that is what was on everything. I agreed...I have lots of names right now.

My boys have told me that since we’ll have different last names, that that means we’re not family, and that they can’t live with me anymore. Oh, the conversations you never imagined having to have with your children! Luckily they have good friends in similar situations, and so their examples helped the boys to understand. How confusing for a little kid!


We are excited for our families to be joined and look forward to all the crazy and fun times. The kids already get along like brothers and sisters. The PLAY together, FIGHT together, and LOVE each other. I don't think I could define FAMILY any better than that.

What No One Told Me

Every other weekend two great moments happen. The first moment is the minute my kids leave to go with their dad for the weekend and my house is silent. I can hear the clock ticking and a peaceful calm surrounds me.  It’s time to take care of myself and have no worries or responsibilities. The second moment is that minute when my kids walk back through the door. My empty house is once again filled with chaos, craziness, love, and hugs.

From the outside looking in it appears to be a great setup having your kids gone every other weekend. I don’t disagree with that but what no one told me is that the worry never really goes away. You see when they aren’t with me I’m not responsible for them. I have no say in what they can and cannot do. I forfeit my control every time they walk out that door. I have to have faith, a lot of prayers and accept the fact that my way isn’t the only way. I have to accept that someone else has an influence in their life and I have to allow that to happen. What no one told me is how much I would love my kids. A few years ago I would dare say I was not the mom I would have liked to be. I was consumed with my own feelings and problems. I didn’t give my kids the attention they needed and deserved. My relationships with them are so different now than they used to be. We have conversations that we have never had before. We talk about how blessed we are to have each other, how we stick together as a family, and how people that make different choices than us are not bad people….just different. I pray that they are learning compassion, and things that will help them reach out to other people when they see a need. I watch them have inner conflicts as they go from house to house and try to sort out their own emotions. I watch them come to me with concerns that need discussed and excitement about things happening in their lives. No one told me how amazing it would be to watch my children transform. It’s incredible to watch kids grow and learn and to watch them come through with flying colors. There is nothing better than when an outsider says to me, “Your kids seem so happy and seem to be doing so well.” As a mom I can see the changes that take place each day but when other people take notice it is extra sweet. No one told me how much I would cherish FAMILY TIME. This time has taken on a new meaning as we spend time together and enjoy each other’s company. The future holds endless possibilities and we are excited as we make goals and plans to do things as a family. You know that feeling you have when you've been gone on a long trip? You can’t wait to get home, and you’re so glad to see your kids after a long time away! It's the feeling that helps you appreciate what you have and to remember how blessed you are. What no one told me is that I would be so blessed to be able to experience that feeling every other weekend. I get to remember each time my kids walk in and out my door how much I love them. I never have a chance to take them for granted because I am constantly reminded of how much I love them every time they are away from me.  

No one told me any of these things, but I’ve figured them out on my own. I’ve wrestled with emotions, I’ve cried endless tears, and had a heavy heart. I have also felt joy, been proud of my kids, been stronger than ever myself, and have more love in my home than I ever imagined possible. What an amazing thing it is to look back at life, at lessons that have been learned, and at progress that has been made. I'm so excited for more change, growth, and happiness to come!

Reading Rituals

So I know the word ritual is accompanied by thoughts of cults or crazy people, but in my Media class we had to write a paper on rituals that we participate in with the media. It was very eye opening to notice these "rituals" if you will, that we all participate in daily. There's the weekly shows we must TIVO, the Netflix that goes on every night to wind down, the basketball games that bring men together to shout and place bets. The magazines at the checkout stands that draw us in as we wait in long lines. I originally was going to write my paper about my families obsession with Netflix. (It's official, we can't live without it!) But then I thought of something a little more meaningful, something I hadn't really ever thought about until it just spilled upon my paper as I wrote it. So here's my paper on "media rituals", I thought it was worth sharing. (And yes, I got an A. :)

Reading is one of my great loves. It is something that gratefully was passed down from my dad. From the time I can remember I would read whatever I could get my hands on. When I was young it was the Baby-Sitter Club series, when I was in my twenties it was LDS fiction, then I moved on to Mary Higgins Clark mysteries, and controversial Jodi Picoult novels. Somewhere along the way I even started to enjoy self-help books.

Reading in itself seems to be a solitary experience and for most I suppose it is. For me now and growing up it was much more than that. It became a social interaction between me and those that I loved. My dad’s idea of a good time was to wander Barnes and Noble for hours. He’d come home with a pile of books every time. When I was younger I only remember him buying huge biographies about people, and books about ancient scripture; things that seemed completely snooze worthy. Now when I visit home I see fantasy and science fiction books lying all over the place.

Growing up I can always remember my dad asking me what I was reading. I would reluctantly tell him the title and what it was about. He would flip through it and scan the pages. I never really knew if it was because he was really interested or if he was just making sure it was appropriate. Now that I do the same thing with my daughter I realize that it is both. She has also inherited a love for books and always has at least one lying around.

For as long as I can remember reading has been my night time ritual. It is my escape, my relaxation, and my enjoyment. There is nothing better to me than a good book. I recall my childhood room and laying in bed reading at night. Besides being an avid reader I am also addicted to candy. Lying in bed with a book and something sweet to eat is the story of my life. When I was a little girl I remember the jolly rancher wrappers all over the floor when I was done, the occasional Doritos bag, and Chick-o-Sticks. I’d walk to Ben Franklin and spend my change on candy for my reading time.  Somehow food and reading perfectly complements each other for a sublime experience.

As I got older the world discovered Harry Potter and this contributed to the social aspect of my families reading habits. All of the sudden everyone was reading the same book. We were asking each other what part of the book we were on, and then there was my Dad. He didn’t revel in a book and take his time, he plowed through it! I didn’t live at home during the Harry Potter frenzy, but I know my Dad would buy the book and no one could touch it until he was done reading it. Luckily for my brother and sister that usually only took a day. By the time the last few books had come out they would just pre-order two or three.

When I would see my family we would talk about the books. Whether we liked it or not, what we think about the ending, what we think will happen next, and so on and so forth. My dad was the ultimate critic and I would usually walk away thinking about a book a little more carefully than I had at first. Later the Fablehaven series came out, and the conversation would be about that. I can recall going home and talking to my dad about the latest book and when the next one was coming out. 

Then there were the movies, the DREADFUL movies that would try to retell the stories in our beloved books. There were the Harry Potter movies, and Twilight, none of which accurately captured the books. My family then would pick apart the movies piece by piece. What was left out, what was different, and what could have been done to make it better.  Now we anxiously await the Hunger Games movie and hope that it can capture the story that was told.

My dad and I don’t often find a whole lot to talk about but books are something we share a love for. As he has become ill in the past few years I realize that this love for reading is something I will always treasure because of him and it will be something that will always live on after he is gone. It has shown me what I can create in my family and share with my children. It is something that has created a bond through those of us who love to read. It is a family ritual that has brought us together while also being done in solitude.

Although I have to search a lot harder now for time to read it is still one of my favorite things. Knowing that I can curl up in a blanket and read a good book is something that is very comfortable and familiar to me. Wherever a book can take me is where my imagination will go. And as long as there is something sweet, salty, or crunchy to eat next to me then life is good.

Yes, I'm Hooked

I'm not sure why I fight the forces of conformity. If there is something that EVERYONE is doing...you can bet that I'm not. That is until I actually check it out...and then I become hooked! Books, social media, TV shows, you name it. I fall in love with it all...usually after the fact.

Just ask my mom how much I detested the color pink for most of my life. I thought it was the most dreadful, revolting color ever. It took me having a baby girl to decide it was the greatest color out there! (And yes, now I'm obsessed.) Hmm, that gives me an idea for a new pin board....PINK! Any who, I digress...on to Pinterest!

If there are any of you out there who don't know what this phenomenon is, let me explain. It's a virtual pin board that allows you to pin any image to it. You can have as many pin boards as you desire and as many pins as you can discover.

It's an all in one storage place for every idea you ever see, everything you ever want to do, and every idea you haven't thought up yet.

It's a place for endless inspiration whatever it might be!

As I became hooked today and started "pinning" away to my hearts content, my almost 10 yr. old daughter came in to check out what I was doing.

She was fascinated as she watched me pin books I have read. (Yes, she is a book nerd also. We can thank my dad for that!) I showed her my different boards, including my "kid" board that included crafty ideas that the kids can do.

I immediately had a "light bulb"  moment, when I realized that this was something she would LOVE to do! She spends hours online playing games and listening to music. I thought how awesome it would be for her to make boards full of kid stuff she likes, things she wants to do, and deep down I may even be hoping for...dare I say it...some GOAL setting!

I told her that this was something that was pretty easy and that if she wanted to do it I would help her get it started over Christmas vacation. She was ecstatic, and I'm pretty thrilled myself. We must remind ourselves however that after we pin it, we must create it, or work towards it!

I'm sure one day I may regret this after I'm overwhelmed with lists of projects from my little ones, demanding that their mom help them. When that happens I will just lock myself in my room.....and Pinterest!

You can check this virtual pin board world out at http://www.pinterest.com/, or click on the link at the top of my blog page to follow me and see what I've pinned. To create your own account you must be invited so leave me your email address if you'd like to join in on the craziness!

Life Before Motherhood

In my speech class we had to do a celebratory speech....that includes an acceptance speech, roast, toast, eulogy, ect. I did a eulogy on life before being a mom. Enjoy....

 I’d like to welcome you all here today to this memorial service. We are gathered today to remember the life that was once lived before children. This part of life dies at different ages for everyone but most of us will experience this death at some point in our lives. We’d like to pay tribute to this uncomplicated life and remember these precious times even though they have passed on.

There was a time my hair was naturally curly, coiled tight and kinky. It would look fabulous with only the slightest of efforts. There was a time that my hips were not so immense and had not yet proved their birthing abilities. There was a time when the sisters were not so saggy and when baby weight was not slathered all over my body.

Curly hair, smaller hips, and perky sisters….you will be missed.

There was a time when I slept all alone in my bed. Now I wake up with a little face sharing my pillow. There was a time that once my head hit the bed I would sleep straight till morning. Now numerous children come to visit and interrupt my dreams. There was a time that I looked forward to weekends. It was a time to sleep in and relax . Now I wake up to shaking and the word "MOM" being screeched over and over again. Weekends are considered anything but relaxing. 

Tranquil, peaceful nights and weekends…you will be missed.

There was a time I could shower without someone banging on the door. Gone are the long, unwinding, hot showers that once were. There was a time I could use the bathroom without hearing my name being bellowed, now I‘m lucky to just be in there by myself.  There was a time I could leave a room, come back and it would still be clean.  Now numerous tornados rip through my house each day. It does not matter how many times the dishes are done or the living room is cleaned, there is always another tornado in the forecast.

Quiet showers, bathroom breaks, and my immaculate house…you will be missed.

There was a time that Entertainment Tonight filled my living room in the evening. Now it’s filled with Spongebob, Power Rangers, and Wizards of Waverly Place. There was a time I could listen to music on my down time. Now I listen to the constant commotion of little people and just try to hear my own thoughts. There was a time that I shopped only for myself. No concerns except for what purse or new pair of shoes was coming next. Now I buy diapers, transformers, and Justin Beiber t- shirts.

TV, music, and selfish shopping….you will be missed.

For all of these reasons and so many more we are gathered here today. To remember and pay tribute to the self gratifying woman who has now passed on.



We must remember that although she has passed she is in a better place. She has crossed over to the other side and has been met by those that love her with welcoming arms.

While we miss her we know that she is happy and content with her new life. We rejoice in the memories of what once was and celebrate that joyous reunion that awaits her.

Ten chubby fingers, ten stubby toes, and one precious smile welcome her into the next life.  



The little people who took me from self-gratifying woman to...MOM. Love them.













Online Dating

Online dating has quite the stigma surrounding it. The unattractive, overweight creepers who put up inaccurate pictures of themselves and fool unsuspecting victims.

I was fortunate enough to not have that be my experience with online dating. Why the stigma when there are so many success stories? I agree that there are also the horror stories. Troy could tell you a couple dozen including one real life horror with a girl named Barbie.

 I believe that everything in life is what you make it. There is good and bad to everything. Do we stop using the internet because it has terrible things on it or do we seek out the good? Do we not watch movies because there is such trash out there, or do we find the positive? Do we give up on love because we failed once, or do we keep searching? Do we reject online dating because of the stereotypes, or do we use it as a great tool and try to pursue what's valuable?

It's interesting how some are lucky enough to find the perfect match quickly and others have to search much longer and harder. I met Troy on only my 4th first date. I continued dating others for a while until I felt it was pointless and I realized I had who and what I wanted. On the other hand I was Troy's 115th first date. So why do some people find compatibility quickly and others don't? The answer to this is puzzling and I'm not sure we'll ever know. I'm grateful that for whatever reason I got to be one of the people to find it quickly. And I'm also grateful that Troy didn't give up after 80....or 100…or 114. :)

Would I have ever met this man if I wouldn't have online dated? Never in a million years. Would I have learned everything I learned in such a short amount of time if I hadn't of online dated? Never in a million years.

There is definitely a stigma that surrounds online dating but the key is to know how to use it and find the positive in it. Technology these days is amazing!!!

P.S. Troy boy and I have created a business called ConnectionZ. If you're single you most definitely want to check it out. Like it on Facebook for updates and all sorts of info. Scan this QR code to find it instantly!

P.S.S. We have a FREE class coming up about online dating. It's Thursday night, the 17th. Click on this link for more info and register to reserve your seat.  http://vital2dateonline.eventbrite.com/

OIL and WATER

Separates SO quickly...

Going through trials is an interesting thing. There’s something about it that separates your true friends from the people you THOUGHT were friends.

Divorce is the one trial that will separate these friends faster than ever. It’s like oil and water. Quicker than lightning you’re left wondering what happened.

I’ve heard from countless numbers of people how friendships were lost after a divorce. Sometimes friends feel like they need to choose sides. Sometimes they just don’t know what to say anymore.

We’ve all been in that position where tragedy has struck someone that we know. How many times have we awkwardly said hello in the store, asked how they were doing and then quickly moved on? It’s as if we’ll be struck by something terrible if we talk to them for too long.

Or there are the people who would just rather pretend like nothing has ever happened. If it’s not talked about then it’s not awkward, right? 

This is so important to remember!

Then there are the friends who silently judge, and quickly slip away.

Rarely do we find the kind of people who will ask what they are really thinking. Some might feel that asking questions is intrusive, but I welcome it like a breath of fresh air!

One thing I’ve learned through all of this is that we NEVER know what is happening in people’s lives. Everyone has burdens and trials they go though everyday that no one knows about. There is no way we can possibly judge a person for their actions or behaviors. Why would we want to? People around us don’t need judgment; they need love and support.

Are you the kind of friend that slips away during someone’s battles? Do you pretend like they aren’t happening or do you stand up and support them? How would you want someone to treat you in the same situation? Think about THAT the next time you discover the battles the people around you are fighting.