Yes, I'm Hooked

I'm not sure why I fight the forces of conformity. If there is something that EVERYONE is doing...you can bet that I'm not. That is until I actually check it out...and then I become hooked! Books, social media, TV shows, you name it. I fall in love with it all...usually after the fact.

Just ask my mom how much I detested the color pink for most of my life. I thought it was the most dreadful, revolting color ever. It took me having a baby girl to decide it was the greatest color out there! (And yes, now I'm obsessed.) Hmm, that gives me an idea for a new pin board....PINK! Any who, I digress...on to Pinterest!

If there are any of you out there who don't know what this phenomenon is, let me explain. It's a virtual pin board that allows you to pin any image to it. You can have as many pin boards as you desire and as many pins as you can discover.

It's an all in one storage place for every idea you ever see, everything you ever want to do, and every idea you haven't thought up yet.

It's a place for endless inspiration whatever it might be!

As I became hooked today and started "pinning" away to my hearts content, my almost 10 yr. old daughter came in to check out what I was doing.

She was fascinated as she watched me pin books I have read. (Yes, she is a book nerd also. We can thank my dad for that!) I showed her my different boards, including my "kid" board that included crafty ideas that the kids can do.

I immediately had a "light bulb"  moment, when I realized that this was something she would LOVE to do! She spends hours online playing games and listening to music. I thought how awesome it would be for her to make boards full of kid stuff she likes, things she wants to do, and deep down I may even be hoping for...dare I say it...some GOAL setting!

I told her that this was something that was pretty easy and that if she wanted to do it I would help her get it started over Christmas vacation. She was ecstatic, and I'm pretty thrilled myself. We must remind ourselves however that after we pin it, we must create it, or work towards it!

I'm sure one day I may regret this after I'm overwhelmed with lists of projects from my little ones, demanding that their mom help them. When that happens I will just lock myself in my room.....and Pinterest!

You can check this virtual pin board world out at http://www.pinterest.com/, or click on the link at the top of my blog page to follow me and see what I've pinned. To create your own account you must be invited so leave me your email address if you'd like to join in on the craziness!

Life Before Motherhood

In my speech class we had to do a celebratory speech....that includes an acceptance speech, roast, toast, eulogy, ect. I did a eulogy on life before being a mom. Enjoy....

 I’d like to welcome you all here today to this memorial service. We are gathered today to remember the life that was once lived before children. This part of life dies at different ages for everyone but most of us will experience this death at some point in our lives. We’d like to pay tribute to this uncomplicated life and remember these precious times even though they have passed on.

There was a time my hair was naturally curly, coiled tight and kinky. It would look fabulous with only the slightest of efforts. There was a time that my hips were not so immense and had not yet proved their birthing abilities. There was a time when the sisters were not so saggy and when baby weight was not slathered all over my body.

Curly hair, smaller hips, and perky sisters….you will be missed.

There was a time when I slept all alone in my bed. Now I wake up with a little face sharing my pillow. There was a time that once my head hit the bed I would sleep straight till morning. Now numerous children come to visit and interrupt my dreams. There was a time that I looked forward to weekends. It was a time to sleep in and relax . Now I wake up to shaking and the word "MOM" being screeched over and over again. Weekends are considered anything but relaxing. 

Tranquil, peaceful nights and weekends…you will be missed.

There was a time I could shower without someone banging on the door. Gone are the long, unwinding, hot showers that once were. There was a time I could use the bathroom without hearing my name being bellowed, now I‘m lucky to just be in there by myself.  There was a time I could leave a room, come back and it would still be clean.  Now numerous tornados rip through my house each day. It does not matter how many times the dishes are done or the living room is cleaned, there is always another tornado in the forecast.

Quiet showers, bathroom breaks, and my immaculate house…you will be missed.

There was a time that Entertainment Tonight filled my living room in the evening. Now it’s filled with Spongebob, Power Rangers, and Wizards of Waverly Place. There was a time I could listen to music on my down time. Now I listen to the constant commotion of little people and just try to hear my own thoughts. There was a time that I shopped only for myself. No concerns except for what purse or new pair of shoes was coming next. Now I buy diapers, transformers, and Justin Beiber t- shirts.

TV, music, and selfish shopping….you will be missed.

For all of these reasons and so many more we are gathered here today. To remember and pay tribute to the self gratifying woman who has now passed on.



We must remember that although she has passed she is in a better place. She has crossed over to the other side and has been met by those that love her with welcoming arms.

While we miss her we know that she is happy and content with her new life. We rejoice in the memories of what once was and celebrate that joyous reunion that awaits her.

Ten chubby fingers, ten stubby toes, and one precious smile welcome her into the next life.  



The little people who took me from self-gratifying woman to...MOM. Love them.













Online Dating

Online dating has quite the stigma surrounding it. The unattractive, overweight creepers who put up inaccurate pictures of themselves and fool unsuspecting victims.

I was fortunate enough to not have that be my experience with online dating. Why the stigma when there are so many success stories? I agree that there are also the horror stories. Troy could tell you a couple dozen including one real life horror with a girl named Barbie.

 I believe that everything in life is what you make it. There is good and bad to everything. Do we stop using the internet because it has terrible things on it or do we seek out the good? Do we not watch movies because there is such trash out there, or do we find the positive? Do we give up on love because we failed once, or do we keep searching? Do we reject online dating because of the stereotypes, or do we use it as a great tool and try to pursue what's valuable?

It's interesting how some are lucky enough to find the perfect match quickly and others have to search much longer and harder. I met Troy on only my 4th first date. I continued dating others for a while until I felt it was pointless and I realized I had who and what I wanted. On the other hand I was Troy's 115th first date. So why do some people find compatibility quickly and others don't? The answer to this is puzzling and I'm not sure we'll ever know. I'm grateful that for whatever reason I got to be one of the people to find it quickly. And I'm also grateful that Troy didn't give up after 80....or 100…or 114. :)

Would I have ever met this man if I wouldn't have online dated? Never in a million years. Would I have learned everything I learned in such a short amount of time if I hadn't of online dated? Never in a million years.

There is definitely a stigma that surrounds online dating but the key is to know how to use it and find the positive in it. Technology these days is amazing!!!

P.S. Troy boy and I have created a business called ConnectionZ. If you're single you most definitely want to check it out. Like it on Facebook for updates and all sorts of info. Scan this QR code to find it instantly!

P.S.S. We have a FREE class coming up about online dating. It's Thursday night, the 17th. Click on this link for more info and register to reserve your seat.  http://vital2dateonline.eventbrite.com/

OIL and WATER

Separates SO quickly...

Going through trials is an interesting thing. There’s something about it that separates your true friends from the people you THOUGHT were friends.

Divorce is the one trial that will separate these friends faster than ever. It’s like oil and water. Quicker than lightning you’re left wondering what happened.

I’ve heard from countless numbers of people how friendships were lost after a divorce. Sometimes friends feel like they need to choose sides. Sometimes they just don’t know what to say anymore.

We’ve all been in that position where tragedy has struck someone that we know. How many times have we awkwardly said hello in the store, asked how they were doing and then quickly moved on? It’s as if we’ll be struck by something terrible if we talk to them for too long.

Or there are the people who would just rather pretend like nothing has ever happened. If it’s not talked about then it’s not awkward, right? 

This is so important to remember!

Then there are the friends who silently judge, and quickly slip away.

Rarely do we find the kind of people who will ask what they are really thinking. Some might feel that asking questions is intrusive, but I welcome it like a breath of fresh air!

One thing I’ve learned through all of this is that we NEVER know what is happening in people’s lives. Everyone has burdens and trials they go though everyday that no one knows about. There is no way we can possibly judge a person for their actions or behaviors. Why would we want to? People around us don’t need judgment; they need love and support.

Are you the kind of friend that slips away during someone’s battles? Do you pretend like they aren’t happening or do you stand up and support them? How would you want someone to treat you in the same situation? Think about THAT the next time you discover the battles the people around you are fighting.  

Wordle...

Most used words in our texts...aww!

Have you heard of wordle? It's the coolest website where you can put in any documents or url's and it will give you an image of the words that were used the most. Troy and I were playing with it tonight and put in all of our texts from May until now. (Kind of a lame date I know, but come on...it is a Sunday night.:) This is what it came up with. Pretty neat!! Check it out at http://www.wordle.net/

LIFE IS GOOD

Life is SO good but it hasn’t always been that way. The other day I was thinking about what it is that makes life good.  Is it a big house? Having a garage? A yard for my kids to play in? Designer clothes? Is it fancy cars, toys or cash?

How interesting that I don’t have any of those things right now…but I’m HAPPY!!! We’ve all heard how happiness has to come from the inside. I used to have a saying in my kitchen that said, “Joy is not found in THINGS, it is in US.”  How ironic that I finally have learned that….after I got rid of that sign in my kitchen. LOL.

So grateful that...LIFE IS GOOD!

You may wonder why life is good for me then without any of the things I mentioned above. Let me tell you! I have a little apartment that is all mine. Each of my children have a bed and their own space!

Kassidy won’t go to bed without ME tucking her in. She hugs me and tells me she loves me DAILY!

Dillan loves to tell me what he’s learning at school. Did you know bats use echolocation to know where they are in caves?

Kyle asks for me to snuggle him while he’s watching TV. Did you know that the more Spongebob you watch the dumber you actually get?

Grayson toddles around the house yelling MOM….MOM…MOM. It gets annoying but still…LIFE IS GOOD!

Food has also become yummy again…that definitely makes life good! Makes the jeans a little tighter also but hey, we can’t have it all. On the top of that list is mint oreos, Italian ice and pizza. Yummmm. J

Life is good because I’ve almost finished three semesters of school. I still have most of my sanity and my kids are all still alive and even like me.

Life is good because after YEARS of retarded phones that have been dropped on the ground and in toilets I FINALLY have a smartphone. It’s pink and tells me where to go so I don’t get lost. Now THAT’S good!

Life is good because it’s full of LOVE! I have found the male version of myself and THAT ladies and gentlemen is AMAZING!

I have a great supportive family and more friends than I can count. Don’t get me wrong, struggles are at every turn but now the happiness is INSIDE of me. It’s here to stay and I’m so excited for my future!

What makes YOUR life good?

Cows & Diamonds

Today I went with Troy to his fourth laser removal appointment for a ring on his left hand. It has faded a lot over the time that I’ve known him and it will continue to do so.


Troy's tatoo after 3 laser removals

 

Fourth removal...burn baby, burn!



It kind of reminds me of the past. The more we move on the easier it is for the past to fade away. We will always remember the lessons and things we’ve learned along the way….the scars are just less visible as we heal.

How fast have you gotten at noticing if someone is single or not? A quick glance down at the left hand usually tells us what we need to know. It's almost so automatic we don't think of it. Someone is instantly out of reach, or within our realm of dating. One second, one glance and we walk towards them or walk away.

Most of us have heard the story of the eight cow wife. What is the significance of this? How does that relate to the rings we place on our fingers as a symbol of marriage? How much relevance does a ring have to the actual marriage itself?

I've had some interesting ring issues myself in my past marriage as has Troy and we have our own theory about this token of love and commitment. First and foremost it is an outward display of commitment.

How many cows are you worth being traded for....? Thank goodness we aren't bartered for with cows anymore but being able to say that you were an eight cow wife was a status. It showed how much your partner was willing to give for you.

The modern day equivalent to this is a diamond ring.

Now before you all freak out and think I'm saying you all need a gigantic rock on your finger to be committed....that is not what I'm implying at all! Whatever ring is purchased, no matter the size, should be a sacrifice. If a ring was purchased for me without sacrifice or commitment how well do you think I would be committed to taking care of that ring? Hmmmm....probably not as much as one that was diligently worked for.

Whatever token of love is manifested on your left hand should be equally proportional to the love and commitment you plan on displaying throughout your marriage. If a $300 ring from Costco is a huge sacrifice and you have to save and work hard for it then that counts! If a $15,000 ring from Trice is your goal then that counts too! Size and amount don't matter...commitment and sacrifices do!

Sometimes rings just don't seem that important in the big scheme of life....perhaps to some they aren't. In my life rings have come to symbolize more than just if I'm married or not.

I had a rough track record with my wedding ring when I was married. I misplaced it at least a few times a month. It would end up missing but would eventually always turn up. One time I even lost it in a Wal-Mart because it slid of my finger and I didn't know it. It eventually turned up also. It was a bit dented and deformed but safe and sound in the WM lost and found.

Shortly after that mishap my ring again went missing, this time in Idaho over Thanksgiving. My ring never surfaced again. (I am sure it was flushed by a toddler who was always into trouble!) At that point I bought a fake ring...you've all seen the type. The big fake bling they sell at places like Claire's and basically everywhere.

Occasionally that one would be misplaced also and I'd purchase a new one. Eventually I just wore whatever ring happened to be around at the time, and whichever one I deemed to look the most "real" that day.

Once my marriage ended I found myself a few times having conversations with people about rings. Thinking I was funny I would explain how my rings related to my marriage. It was lost all the time and once it was officially lost it was just fake.

This comparison would make people laugh and then one day I realized how true it was. The way I treated my ring directly correlated to the way I was feeling in my marriage.

In no way am I implying that if you have a fake ring that your marriage is therefore "fake". However in my experience my rings reflected my relationship. I pose this more as food for thought. What do you consider commitment to look like? How does the commitment you show on the outside reflect the commitment you feel on the inside?

(If you have no idea what an eight cow wife is then I suggest you check this out! :)