Life Before Motherhood

In my speech class we had to do a celebratory speech....that includes an acceptance speech, roast, toast, eulogy, ect. I did a eulogy on life before being a mom. Enjoy....

 I’d like to welcome you all here today to this memorial service. We are gathered today to remember the life that was once lived before children. This part of life dies at different ages for everyone but most of us will experience this death at some point in our lives. We’d like to pay tribute to this uncomplicated life and remember these precious times even though they have passed on.

There was a time my hair was naturally curly, coiled tight and kinky. It would look fabulous with only the slightest of efforts. There was a time that my hips were not so immense and had not yet proved their birthing abilities. There was a time when the sisters were not so saggy and when baby weight was not slathered all over my body.

Curly hair, smaller hips, and perky sisters….you will be missed.

There was a time when I slept all alone in my bed. Now I wake up with a little face sharing my pillow. There was a time that once my head hit the bed I would sleep straight till morning. Now numerous children come to visit and interrupt my dreams. There was a time that I looked forward to weekends. It was a time to sleep in and relax . Now I wake up to shaking and the word "MOM" being screeched over and over again. Weekends are considered anything but relaxing. 

Tranquil, peaceful nights and weekends…you will be missed.

There was a time I could shower without someone banging on the door. Gone are the long, unwinding, hot showers that once were. There was a time I could use the bathroom without hearing my name being bellowed, now I‘m lucky to just be in there by myself.  There was a time I could leave a room, come back and it would still be clean.  Now numerous tornados rip through my house each day. It does not matter how many times the dishes are done or the living room is cleaned, there is always another tornado in the forecast.

Quiet showers, bathroom breaks, and my immaculate house…you will be missed.

There was a time that Entertainment Tonight filled my living room in the evening. Now it’s filled with Spongebob, Power Rangers, and Wizards of Waverly Place. There was a time I could listen to music on my down time. Now I listen to the constant commotion of little people and just try to hear my own thoughts. There was a time that I shopped only for myself. No concerns except for what purse or new pair of shoes was coming next. Now I buy diapers, transformers, and Justin Beiber t- shirts.

TV, music, and selfish shopping….you will be missed.

For all of these reasons and so many more we are gathered here today. To remember and pay tribute to the self gratifying woman who has now passed on.



We must remember that although she has passed she is in a better place. She has crossed over to the other side and has been met by those that love her with welcoming arms.

While we miss her we know that she is happy and content with her new life. We rejoice in the memories of what once was and celebrate that joyous reunion that awaits her.

Ten chubby fingers, ten stubby toes, and one precious smile welcome her into the next life.  



The little people who took me from self-gratifying woman to...MOM. Love them.