Cows & Diamonds

Today I went with Troy to his fourth laser removal appointment for a ring on his left hand. It has faded a lot over the time that I’ve known him and it will continue to do so.


Troy's tatoo after 3 laser removals

 

Fourth removal...burn baby, burn!



It kind of reminds me of the past. The more we move on the easier it is for the past to fade away. We will always remember the lessons and things we’ve learned along the way….the scars are just less visible as we heal.

How fast have you gotten at noticing if someone is single or not? A quick glance down at the left hand usually tells us what we need to know. It's almost so automatic we don't think of it. Someone is instantly out of reach, or within our realm of dating. One second, one glance and we walk towards them or walk away.

Most of us have heard the story of the eight cow wife. What is the significance of this? How does that relate to the rings we place on our fingers as a symbol of marriage? How much relevance does a ring have to the actual marriage itself?

I've had some interesting ring issues myself in my past marriage as has Troy and we have our own theory about this token of love and commitment. First and foremost it is an outward display of commitment.

How many cows are you worth being traded for....? Thank goodness we aren't bartered for with cows anymore but being able to say that you were an eight cow wife was a status. It showed how much your partner was willing to give for you.

The modern day equivalent to this is a diamond ring.

Now before you all freak out and think I'm saying you all need a gigantic rock on your finger to be committed....that is not what I'm implying at all! Whatever ring is purchased, no matter the size, should be a sacrifice. If a ring was purchased for me without sacrifice or commitment how well do you think I would be committed to taking care of that ring? Hmmmm....probably not as much as one that was diligently worked for.

Whatever token of love is manifested on your left hand should be equally proportional to the love and commitment you plan on displaying throughout your marriage. If a $300 ring from Costco is a huge sacrifice and you have to save and work hard for it then that counts! If a $15,000 ring from Trice is your goal then that counts too! Size and amount don't matter...commitment and sacrifices do!

Sometimes rings just don't seem that important in the big scheme of life....perhaps to some they aren't. In my life rings have come to symbolize more than just if I'm married or not.

I had a rough track record with my wedding ring when I was married. I misplaced it at least a few times a month. It would end up missing but would eventually always turn up. One time I even lost it in a Wal-Mart because it slid of my finger and I didn't know it. It eventually turned up also. It was a bit dented and deformed but safe and sound in the WM lost and found.

Shortly after that mishap my ring again went missing, this time in Idaho over Thanksgiving. My ring never surfaced again. (I am sure it was flushed by a toddler who was always into trouble!) At that point I bought a fake ring...you've all seen the type. The big fake bling they sell at places like Claire's and basically everywhere.

Occasionally that one would be misplaced also and I'd purchase a new one. Eventually I just wore whatever ring happened to be around at the time, and whichever one I deemed to look the most "real" that day.

Once my marriage ended I found myself a few times having conversations with people about rings. Thinking I was funny I would explain how my rings related to my marriage. It was lost all the time and once it was officially lost it was just fake.

This comparison would make people laugh and then one day I realized how true it was. The way I treated my ring directly correlated to the way I was feeling in my marriage.

In no way am I implying that if you have a fake ring that your marriage is therefore "fake". However in my experience my rings reflected my relationship. I pose this more as food for thought. What do you consider commitment to look like? How does the commitment you show on the outside reflect the commitment you feel on the inside?

(If you have no idea what an eight cow wife is then I suggest you check this out! :)